I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
God, I missed his penis.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
