I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
