She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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