Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
