I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
