Quick, to the slutcave!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
