Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
