Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
