Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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