Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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