they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
