I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
