problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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