Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
