Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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