Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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