i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
