I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
