You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
