I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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