apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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