I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
