I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
