no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
