i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
