is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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