It's just like the Real World with babies
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
