omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
