Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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