I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
