You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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