My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
