____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
