i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
