If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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