Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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