I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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