Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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