I need help removing her.
I looked at my own cervix.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
