I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
