He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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