I wish life had little blips of pornography
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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