never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
