That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Less talking, more tequila
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
