dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
