Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im holly from the hills drunk
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
