how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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