Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
