I think scott just propositioned me for sex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
