Who wears a wallet chain?!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
