Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
