You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
