My hand turned me down
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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