Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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