i permit you to call me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
