with your own penis?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
