You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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