I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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